Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Hump Day

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The owl hat lives on.

For today - a brain dump:

1 - Our trip is coming up very soon. In some ways I'm less worried about it, in other ways I'm totally still a basket case about leaving LM for 12 days. We have been writing up helpful notes for Nana and getting the house in order. We also bought some recordable books so LM can hear our voices read him a story. We updated our wills. We have some activities already scheduled. We'll use the laptop to FaceTime with LM and Nana on a regular basis. And it's only 12 days. It'll be OK.

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Last weekend, it was used as a bike helmet.

2 - I'm fat. FAT. Fat as a TICK. If I had more time, I'd make you a graphic - me on one side, fat tick on the other. You would see the similarities immediately. I've written about this here several times - this is not new for me. I've been fat for quite some time. I cannot seem to get a handle on this. I feel like I'm too busy to be able to really focus on it. In other parts of my life, I am very successful at changing habits and making them stick, but not in this one. I eat on the run and sometimes late when I'm too hungry to make the best choices. I have a proclivity to eat too many sweets. I'm really addicted to sugar, I think. I read this book about how bodies relate to carbs, and I really think I need to eat less carbs in general. The most successful diet I went on in recent years was low carb - and then I got pregnant. I did watch my carbs with success for several weeks at the start of the year and now I'm failing at it. I need to find a solution and fewer excuses. But I don't know right now what that is. So, right now I'm just stinking irritated about it.

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3 - We still have a number of items to complete before the big trip - I know, sort of back on #1 - and we have to get that done this weekend. I'm feeling a lot of anxiety not only about the trip but about feeling ready to leave. Of course, I can only do so much between now and then and what's done will be done, etc etc.

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4 - We're out of all types of food. So we've been eating out. See #2.

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5 - I read about (and personally know, actually) working mothers who cook every night and also find time to work out, participate in triathlons, be an active member in a book club, have a fabulous home and are generally perfect. There's got to be a way to do more. So far, I clearly haven't figured it out. I, prior to having a son, always felt like an organized and able person. I would like to find this balance again. Part of this is just having time to think things through and feeling less scattered. I wonder if I could figure out how to do just THAT for a while. That would be nice!

6 - The week is halfway over. Amen to that.

See you soon.

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