Last year, I really got into an exercise routine. A SERIOUS exercise routine where I was seriously working out all the time. And, after 9 months, I lost 3 pounds. THREE POUNDS. Yes, three. That's it. Now, I toned up, felt good, etc, but I didn't lose any real weight. I know, I know, muscle is heavier than fat. BLAH BLAH BLAH. I need to lose some serious weight. So, exercise alone isn't going to do it for me.
Right now I am not exercising as much. Really, not very regularly at all now. There's the bike, but with the schedule we've been keeping that's even hit or miss right now. And, I know I need to do some regular activity. But, some pounds need to come off fast for me to get motivated to do that again. (I know it didn't go on fast. Get over yourself, skinny know it all that might be saying that. I need some motivation, people!) So, I'm resorting to something I hate to do but must - I'm going on a diet. A D-I-E-T. A nasty four letter word. To lose some serious pounds. And then maybe I'll look again at the exercise situation in earnest. After I show some real progress on the weight front.
Here are the reasons why:
1 - when I look at photos of me, or at myself in the mirror, I look like someone inflated me.
2 - when I look at photos of me, or at myself in the mirror, I look like the "before" pictures on the weight loss commercials.
3 - I am fat. If you don't believe me, reference #'s 1 and 2. Thank you.
When I read the BMI charts, I am obese. OBESE. FAT. FAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT. According to the BMI charts, I need to lose 60 pounds to get to a desirable weight. That's a lot of dieting, sister. I'm not sure I have the fortitude for all of that. I'm not sure at all.
But. I must do it. I must. For my health. To feel better about myself. To look in the mirror and not wince. To look at a photo of myself and not look away. To be a size I am comfortable living in. I must do it.
The big aha for me - the paradigm shift, if you will - has come from looking at old photos, scanning them in for this blog. You see, the thing is, due to several circumstances beyond my control really - from well meaning relatives and inadvertent situations - somehow I believed I was fat all my life.
The important point is, this just isn't the case. The empirical evidence proves otherwise. I have not been fat my whole life. It's just been in the past few years that I've picked up some pounds. But, when that happened, until I started looking at these photos recently, I thought nothing of it. Really, I didn't. Because I thought I was always fat. And, if I've always been fat, I can't help it and there's nothing to be done. This is where my brain was. I'm a fat girl. And I'm OK with that.
But now, I see, from the photos, that I haven't always been fat. As a person - in spirit - I'll always be a fat girl - make no mistake. But the truth is, most of my life, I have not been truly fat. So, it's time to get out of the fat girl suit, so to speak. To shed the pounds I've picked up from God knows where. (OK, I do know where...) So, I'm going to try to do it.
This is what I'm going to do - I am going to diet - seriously diet in a proven way - from now until Christmas. Then we'll see if it's done any good. And we'll go from there. We'll see.
Your job is to hold me to it. Help me remember this decision. Help me embrace the four letter word.
Hold me to it!!!
Thank you. Amen. See you tomorrow.