Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Embracing the Four Letter Word

That's me, on Sunday.

So, it's official. I cannot stand to put it off any longer. I'm going on a diet. Seriously. A serious diet. And I'm telling you about it here because they say if you tell people you'll be embarrassed into sticking with it. I don't get embarrassed easily, but I thought I'd give it a shot and tell you anyway.

Last year, I really got into an exercise routine. A SERIOUS exercise routine where I was seriously working out all the time. And, after 9 months, I lost 3 pounds. THREE POUNDS. Yes, three. That's it. Now, I toned up, felt good, etc, but I didn't lose any real weight. I know, I know, muscle is heavier than fat. BLAH BLAH BLAH. I need to lose some serious weight. So, exercise alone isn't going to do it for me.

Right now I am not exercising as much. Really, not very regularly at all now. There's the bike, but with the schedule we've been keeping that's even hit or miss right now. And, I know I need to do some regular activity. But, some pounds need to come off fast for me to get motivated to do that again. (I know it didn't go on fast. Get over yourself, skinny know it all that might be saying that. I need some motivation, people!) So, I'm resorting to something I hate to do but must - I'm going on a diet. A D-I-E-T. A nasty four letter word. To lose some serious pounds. And then maybe I'll look again at the exercise situation in earnest. After I show some real progress on the weight front.

Here are the reasons why:

1 - when I look at photos of me, or at myself in the mirror, I look like someone inflated me.
2 - when I look at photos of me, or at myself in the mirror, I look like the "before" pictures on the weight loss commercials.
3 - I am fat. If you don't believe me, reference #'s 1 and 2. Thank you.

When I read the BMI charts, I am obese. OBESE. FAT. FAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT. According to the BMI charts, I need to lose 60 pounds to get to a desirable weight. That's a lot of dieting, sister. I'm not sure I have the fortitude for all of that. I'm not sure at all.

But. I must do it. I must. For my health. To feel better about myself. To look in the mirror and not wince. To look at a photo of myself and not look away. To be a size I am comfortable living in. I must do it.

The big aha for me - the paradigm shift, if you will - has come from looking at old photos, scanning them in for this blog. You see, the thing is, due to several circumstances beyond my control really - from well meaning relatives and inadvertent situations - somehow I believed I was fat all my life.

The important point is, this just isn't the case. The empirical evidence proves otherwise. I have not been fat my whole life. It's just been in the past few years that I've picked up some pounds. But, when that happened, until I started looking at these photos recently, I thought nothing of it. Really, I didn't. Because I thought I was always fat. And, if I've always been fat, I can't help it and there's nothing to be done. This is where my brain was. I'm a fat girl. And I'm OK with that.

But now, I see, from the photos, that I haven't always been fat. As a person - in spirit - I'll always be a fat girl - make no mistake. But the truth is, most of my life, I have not been truly fat. So, it's time to get out of the fat girl suit, so to speak. To shed the pounds I've picked up from God knows where. (OK, I do know where...) So, I'm going to try to do it.

This is what I'm going to do - I am going to diet - seriously diet in a proven way - from now until Christmas. Then we'll see if it's done any good. And we'll go from there. We'll see.

Your job is to hold me to it. Help me remember this decision. Help me embrace the four letter word.

Hold me to it!!!

Thank you. Amen. See you tomorrow.

11 comments:

  1. When I decided to get some weight off several years ago, I finally did some good when I reached the point that this is what I am going to do regardless. Once I really made my mind up it helped a lot. I will support you in any way I can. I have struggled for years now trying to get it off and am really glad I have done it. I feel so much better and my knees don't hurt so much. (you are young though and don't have the old age problems) I know you can do this - you can do anything you set your mind to. YOU GO GIRL!!

    Cheryl

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  2. I have a super cute picture of you and I getting ready to go to Garth Brooks Concert Senior Year! I should post it - you looked adorable. I need the same incentive. I keep saying it is baby weight until she walks and talks...she is standing !!

    Nicole

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  3. Dear Miss Amy, You are a beautiful person inside and out. I do know that it's healthier to be a bit slimmer, but it's also very difficut to do!!!! I highly recommend Weight Watchers. A couple of years ago I did very well on that program. Good luck sweetheart!!!! ox

    Susie

    p.s. you do have hereditary genes to blame!!!! ;)
    love you

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  4. You and me both!

    Christine

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  5. What kind of diet are you going on? I just saw you in September and you looked great.

    Marlene

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  6. I think you are beautiful in every way...and will be no matter what you weigh. If losing weight will help you to feel better emotionally and physically, I'm with Victor...we're behind you all the way, and I have no doubt at all that you will accomplish this goal.

    -Jessica

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  7. Awesome Amy! I'm proud of you, and you have succeeded in motivating me a tiny bit too. Good luck!

    Allyson

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  8. Hi Sweetheart,

    Well, your Dad has been sucessful in losing 70 lbs and recently gaining back 20 because it is sooooo easy to back slide. I will take your recent decloration as a wake up call for me as well to get back on the healthy lifestyle...That is the answer..health lifestyle. I love your and see you as beautiful everytime I see you but that is not what you want to hear. I know you can do it. I will be doing it with you.

    love,

    Dad

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  9. Hey Amy! You can do it. It's very difficult to do, decide to loose weight and then actually act on it. I've been trying to act on it for almost a year now (I can no longer call it "baby fat" if the baby is almost a year). My advice (if you want any) is Weight Watchers!!!! It really works if you are diligent and actually attending meetings really helps. It's not a "diet" really, it teaches you a new way to look at food and gets you to change your habits for life. Just thought I'd put my 2 cents in. I've started WW again in the past month and lost 6 pounds. Stay strong!

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  10. Amy - I'm cheering you on! I think you are fantastic and beautiful just as you are - I don't see you as you are describing yourself a bit. Maybe you are right though about the accountability factor - keep posting on it.
    Katrina

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